Group Therapy

What is group therapy anyway?

Well, it’s just what you’d expect from the name. Rather than meeting one-on-one, we meet in groups of 4 to 10 members.

And just like in individual therapy, each member takes time to talk about whatever they have going on in their life or at the moment. Unlike in individual therapy, many group activities also include listening and reacting to what others say.

There are different kinds of groups, and I mainly run interpersonal process groups. These are ongoing groups, usually coed, where people continue to meet over months or several years, allowing an opportunity to get to know and support one another at a deeper level.

Why group rather than individual?

Individual therapy is mostly about you and me working together to understand and solve the problems you’re facing in your life. However, group therapy is about learning to relate to others in new ways. So they’re different.

And while group therapy can often be a cheaper alternative to individual therapy, the two also work very well in conjunction with one another. I spent many years in individual and group therapy and got a lot more out of the combo than I would have out of either approach alone.

Depending on your needs, working in a group also provides some advantages over individual therapy. For one thing, it’s often like having a bunch of therapists in the room rather than one. You get reflection and perspective from a group of people instead of just me. And while I’m undoubtedly intelligent and insightful, the collective insight of a crowd is hard to beat.

We also get to see and work with more of you in the group. Each person you relate with tends to bring out different parts of you, whereas, in individual therapy, we mainly get to see how you are with me. As interesting as I am, I am not all things to all people. But in a group you get to interact with a variety of people. Some people will bring out the best in you, some the worst, and it’s all grist for the mill.

Finally, group therapy is perfect for working with relational issues, including social anxiety, loneliness, and isolation, and struggles with boundaries and getting needs met. Because the group provides a real-time lab for these interactions, we – including the other group members – can help you more directly in ways we just can’t in individual therapy.

But what does it look like?

For the groups I run, some meet in person and some online. Everybody sits in a circle for in-person groups so we can see each other. Online groups meet via Zoom, so you see everybody in a gallery view.

The conversation isn’t structured. Instead, people talk when something they want to say comes to mind, and then others listen and maybe respond, and it continues. The effect is that things emerge organically rather than through some scripted protocol, which gives us a chance to see and start to work on each group member’s relational tendencies.

Some people quickly put themselves out there, and some hold back. Some members are overly emotional, and others stay stuck in their heads. As group members or I notice these tendencies, they can become topics of conversation in themselves, which is usually when things get the most interesting and where we start to see the most change in the group.

Such spontaneous response is one of several things that set the types of conversations you might have in a group apart from ordinary conversations.

That sounds somewhat intimidating.

I get that. Groups can be scary, and some ground rules are necessary.

First, you don’t have to discuss anything before you’re ready. You can take as long as necessary to get comfortable in the group. But what usually happens is you start hearing other people talking about what’s happening for them at a deep level. Then it feels like permission for you to do the same, or at least to get curious about what makes talking about those things scary.

Second, as the group leader, I’m there to keep you safe. I do my best to stay tuned to where each group member is and ensure nobody is overwhelmed. But if that is happening and I miss it, then you can always turn to me and tell me you need help.

Other group members are also often a great help in this regard. You will probably feel close to certain people who get you, and those allies will help protect you. Groups can be scary, yes, but there is also strength in numbers.

Sounds great, but how do I get started?

The first step is to contact me and set up a free 15-minute phone consultation. If it seems like a potentially good fit, I like to meet individually a few times before we commit to anything.

This introduction gives you a chance to get to know me and for me to get a sense of what you’re working on and whether the groups I have will be a good fit for you.

If we decide together that it’s worth moving forward, we’ll pick a date for you to start. I ask for a six-month commitment because groups tend to become tight-knit, and people coming and going can disrupt cohesion. That helps you not to jump ship when things are uncomfortable at the beginning and give plenty of time for the group to get to know you and you to get to know them.

If you are interested in group therapy and the groups I run, contact me today for more information.